nostalgia and heartache

Posted on September 18, 2023

Okay, just so we're clear, this isn't meant to be a sad journal entry. It's currently 3:17 AM as I'm writing this, and I'm just feeling a whole lot of emotions right now that I can't properly get off my chest to anyone else since everyone's asleep, so I thought, "hey, a journal entry would be cool because I like rambling." If I'm up this late I just get into a weird sentimental state and I just start thinking about things that are or were important to me growing up. But since I'm also tired this entry will likely be a complete mess, so I might not words correctly here. Just letting you know.

So if it wasn't obvious from the character featured over on that top corner, this is about Flipnote Studio DSi. More specifically Flipnote Hatena, the online service that was formerly hosted for Flipnote Studio DSi that allowed people to share their creations online... I just recently discovered The June Archive ARG, and it's touched my heart aplenty and has left me in this emotional nostalgic state.

The Flipnote Culture was what really kicked my idea of becoming an artist into gear, I think. I already enjoyed drawing before then, but discovering this new world within the confines of my little DSi opened my eyes to new horizons... and I don't think I've wanted to be anything but an artist since then. It kind of snowballed from there. I can still list off some of my biggest inspirations from Hatena. ShinyEevee (now Vanderdeer) of course is a big one, and there was also Guapers, EpicGuitar (now PotooBrigham)... y'know, a lot of big-name creators. Guapers was actually my biggest inspiration because my favourite Pokemon back then was Lugia, since I was obsessed with Pokemon the Movie: 2000 as a kid. So, my first persona was a Lugia!

There's also Endy Cat from the Sudomemo era, which I still think about often! However I believe they've decided to shut out most of their social media presence, which is honestly completely fair, to be honest. (I also highkey want to do that too, and just make this website my central hub for most things. I think life would be a lot better if I just stopped using social media.)

Now, I was nowhere close to being someone noteworthy on Flipnote Hatena. (Or 2014 Sudomemo, for that matter...) I was simply a 7 year old with a DSi. But I LOVED to make animations anyway, and I would upload a lot of them just for fun. Even though they were all terrible because I was, again, literally 7-9 years old.

But something that really clicked with me from watching the June Archive is just... loss. Most of us were probably too young to have any form of social media, or just didn't know how most of it worked... so there were likely quite a few people who have lost a few friends just because of that network cut-off. And not only that, if you didn't save your beloved flipnotes, or any that you enjoyed, they basically became lost media for 9 whole years. (At least, until the release of the Sudomemo Flipnote Archive in 2022. Yes, I remember my old Hatena username! No, I have not looked back at any of those Flipnotes because I know they're bad.)

While I never really had any personal experience with drifting away from online friends within Flipnote Hatena itself, I can understand that feeling of just. Heartache. Remembering that one online friend you used to talk to a lot, but then drifted away from due to IRL or other reasons. I've had a couple encounters with that. I sometimes find myself thinking about those people that have come and gone during my time on the internet.

... Jeez, I said this wasn't going to be a sad journal entry I just wanted to talk about my Flipnote nostalgia. This is what happens when I stay up past 2 AM.

I'll just sign off here instead of going further on those topics... but I will say I'm actually just really glad that Sudomemo still has an active community after all these years. I ought to upload there more! But animation is hard and takes time. It's nice practice for future animation endeavors, though... Hmm...

Also I've just been listening to Night of Knights the entire time I've been on this brain train. Not sure why. I put it on and haven't turned it off. I might as well just sleep to it at this point.

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